During a lunch break at work, I mentioned my wedding back home in Vietnam. My colleague was preparing for his own wedding, so the discussion naturally shifted to how weddings are organized in our respective cultures.

Out of curiosity, I asked how many guests he planned to invite.

"Probably around 30," he replied. "Mostly family and a few close friends."

Then it was my turn. I explained that in my hometown, weddings often involve several hundred guests. By the time relatives from both sides, neighbors, family friends and colleagues were included, the guest list at my own wedding had reached about 600 people.

My colleague stared at me for a moment before asking again, just to be sure he had heard correctly: "Six hundred people?"

His surprise was not because he assumed Vietnamese people had fewer social connections. On the contrary, he understood that everyone has relatives, friends and colleagues. What astonished him was simply the scale.

A table at a luxury wedding ceremony in Vietnam. Photo by VnExpress/Quynh Tran

The conversation stayed with me long afterward. In many rural areas of Vietnam, weddings have gradually become more than a celebration between two families. They often involve extended relatives, neighbors and a wide network of social relationships.

Inviting too few people can risk offending someone, while leaving certain names off the list may create awkward situations later. Sometimes, out of habit or social obligation, families keep expanding the guest list until it becomes enormous.

At some weddings, the bride and groom may not even know half the people attending. Many guests come because of their relationship with the couple’s parents or relatives, or simply because the families previously attended each other’s weddings.

On the surface, such celebrations appear lively and joyful. But behind the scenes, the process can be exhausting. Families must prepare dozens or even hundreds of tables of food. Hosts are busy from early morning until late at night, coordinating guests, meals and logistics.

Meanwhile, guests often eat quickly, offer their congratulations and leave, sometimes without having the chance to speak properly with the bride and groom.

I once tried to weigh in on my own wedding guest list, but my parents gently reminded me that it was also their responsibility to host relatives and acquaintances. In the end, I accepted their decision.

In many other countries, weddings tend to be smaller and more intimate. This does not mean people have fewer social ties. Rather, the event is often viewed primarily as a personal celebration shared with those closest to the couple.

Of course, traditions vary from place to place. In Vietnam, inviting a large number of guests can reflect hospitality and a strong sense of community.

Still, it raises a question: has the scale of wedding celebrations grown beyond their original meaning?

A wedding is meant to be a joyful occasion. But when that joy becomes a financial strain, a logistical burden and sometimes even a social obligation, perhaps it is worth reconsidering how we celebrate one of life’s most important milestones.