My son and his wife have one son. He is 12, well-behaved, and doing fine in school.

I have often suggested they have another child, partly so he would have a sibling, partly because I believe a larger family feels warmer. Each time, my daughter-in-law only smiles and says, "If I take maternity leave at this age, I could lose my job. Employers do not want women with young children."

She works an office job in Ho Chi Minh City. The work is not overly stressful, but in a competitive environment, a long maternity break can put her at risk of being replaced. Returning to work after a gap is also difficult.

Children at a park in Ho Chi Minh City. Illustration photo by Pexels/Nguyen Duc Toan

It is not only about work. The cost of raising a child in the city also holds them back. Their combined income is about VND35 million ($1.329) a month, enough to cover daily expenses, schooling and other costs for one child, and a small reserve for illness or emergencies. Another child would disrupt that balance.

I understand concerns about falling birth rates and the future workforce. But from my daughter-in-law's perspective, the pressures are clear. Having another child is not about a small upfront payment. It is a commitment that lasts decades, with many costs and responsibilities.

If policymakers want young people to have children, they need to go beyond symbolic bonuses. What young families need is long-term security like affordable education, reliable healthcare, and support that follows a child from before birth to adulthood. Workplaces also need to stop putting women at a disadvantage when they have children.

As for me, after years of trying to persuade them, I still hope for another grandchild. But I know the final decision belongs to my son and daughter-in-law. They are the ones who will raise the child and take responsibility for the future. Changing their minds will take more than VND5 million.