Reader Tien Hung Nguyen shared the story of a 71-year-old American woman he met who lived alone in Vietnam.

Last year, she rented the apartment next to mine for two months. After a few conversations, I learned that she had come to Vietnam alone to escape the winter back home. In her free time, she read books and walked in the park. When she wanted a change of scenery, she traveled to Da Lat, Nha Trang or Da Nang.

I asked why she did not travel with her children or grandchildren.

She replied: "Everyone has their own life. I raised my children to adulthood—that was my responsibility. Now I live my life, and they live theirs."

When I asked who would take care of her as she got older, she said: "Why should I make my children responsible for that? I brought them into this world; they didn't ask to be born. My children call once or twice a week to check on me. If I need anything, I can call them. When I become too weak to live independently, I'll move into a nursing home."

I then asked: "Don't you feel lonely? You raised your children. Shouldn't they take care of you now?"

Her answer stayed with me: "I love my children unconditionally. It's not a transaction."

As Vietnam's population ages rapidly, experts say the challenge is not only helping people live longer but also ensuring they can maintain independence, self-care abilities and quality of life. The need for geriatric services, elderly care policies and the development of the "silver economy" is becoming increasingly urgent.

An old person looks out a window. Illustration photo by Unsplash

Reader thanhbinhptxd wrote: "Older people are aware of the changes happening to them. Their steps become slower, their eyesight weakens and their hands become less steady. Even if they don't want it, they cannot stop the effects of aging.

"What saddens them most is not physical decline, but how others perceive them. They are labeled stubborn, difficult, clumsy or troublesome. Faced with such judgments, many withdraw into themselves, communicating less and spending their days in silence."

The reader noted that many elderly people struggle with modern technology, yet are often met with impatience when they ask for help.

"Phones and digital devices are unfamiliar to them. When they make mistakes, their children become frustrated and explain things as if they were speaking to someone their own age. How can parents keep up? Why can't we be a little more patient? Old age is not as quick or adaptable as youth."

The reader added: "One day, we will grow old too. Our eyesight will fade, our movements will slow, and our memories may weaken. Only then will we truly understand what our parents are going through today. The sad part is that by the time many people understand, their parents are already gone."

Another reader, thietkeinan0610, shared the story of her mother, who is in her 70s and lives alone.

"All of her children are married and live far away, so she stays by herself. Every day she still works in the fields, growing vegetables, melons and peanuts. I've told her she doesn't need to work so hard anymore, but she says it keeps her healthy and gives her joy."

A few years ago, the reader bought her mother an iPad. "She loves it. During her free time, she watches the news, listens to Buddhist teachings, watches movies and browses YouTube. I joke that she's addicted to her iPad."

The mother also regularly attends activities at the local temple and remains determined to take care of herself and her family. "When I come home, she still insists on riding her bicycle to the market to buy stuff and cook for me. If I offer to help, she says, 'What do you know? Let me do it.'"

The reader said her mother has recently become more sensitive and occasionally complains that her children no longer listen to her. "Sometimes she says, 'You're all grown up now. You know everything and don't need my advice anymore.' But when I gently explain things to her, she calms down and listens."

She added: "Life is a cycle. We are born as children, and in many ways we become childlike again in old age. When I was young, no matter how difficult I was, my mother was always patient with me. I may never be as patient with her as she was with me, but I will do my best to respond with kindness and understanding. I only hope she remains healthy and happy for many years to come."