I am 38, my husband is 41, and we have been married for 12 years with two children, a daughter, 10, and a son, seven.

Both of us work, but my husband’s income is considerably higher than mine. His salary has mainly been used to cover major household expenses, while I take care of daily living costs and looking after the two kids.

We are not the kind of couple who constantly argues. We focus on our work, and on weekends we both take the children out.

However, for about a year now, I have felt my husband has been paying less and less attention to the family. He often comes home late, and says sometimes on weekends that he is busy meeting business partners or friends.

A couple arguing. Photo by Pexels

I used to ask him about it, but he always said he had a lot of work and nothing else was going on.

About a month ago, I discovered that my husband was frequently texting a woman. I didn't know who she was, but the content of their chats showed that they had developed feelings for each other. When I asked him directly, my husband didn't deny it.

He said he had feelings for that person but didn't want to get a divorce yet because he loved our children and didn't want to disrupt our family. I was shocked and asked him how he planned to handle this.

In response, he proposed giving me VND50 million every month for me not to interfere in his relationship with that woman!

He said the VND50 million would be on top of our living expenses and the children's tuition. He said he would still fulfill his family responsibilities and come home, taking care of the kids, and had no intention of abandoning me or the children. In exchange, he wanted me to accept his affair.

As adults, he said, if I don't want a divorce, we can reach an agreement so that each of us can have our own private life as long as it doesn't affect the children. He said we could get a divorce and divide our assets according to law if I didn't agree.

I asked him if the other woman knew he was married with two children. He said she knew but didn't elaborate. I asked him if the situation were reversed and I had another man and offered him VND50 million a month would he accept it?

He was silent for quite some time, and then said he didn't know.

Since that day, we still live in the same house, but barely speak to each other except for matters concerning the children. He still gives us living allowances like before. Though I haven't accepted any money beyond the usual household expenses.

In the eyes of our two children, their father is still an amazing man. He often takes the kids to school, takes the whole family out on weekends, remembers what they like, and is always there when they need him.

Our daughter very often writes about him in her school essays describing family members.

Each time she reads her essay to me, her father appears almost flawless: someone who always loves, protects, and spends time with his children.

Once, while writing her essay, my little girl said to me: "When I grow up, I want to marry someone just like dad."

Recalling those words, my heart aches with both grief and love for my children.

I am afraid that if we get divorced, the kids will be shocked to know the reason. They might not understand why the father whom they have always adored and cherished could have a relationship with someone else.

What do you all think? Should I accept my husband's offer of VND50 million a month to keep the family together and spare the children the shock? Or does putting a price tag on accepting infidelity show that we no longer have a true marriage? If you were in my shoes, what would you say to my husband to make him understand that what I need is not money?