I am 28 and work as an engineer for a private company, while my girlfriend is 25 and works as a teacher. We have been together for nearly three years, and our incomes are quite similar: she earns around VND14 million. Normally, we see each other once every week or two, and I usually cover the bill when we dine out, though she does pay occasionally.

My girlfriend is not the type to constantly demand that I buy her makeup or clothes, nor does she ask me for money. For birthdays, holidays, and Tet, I usually give her flowers, perfume, or items she likes, which typically cost around VND1 to 2 million. She buys gifts for me as well, so we have always been quite relaxed about money matters.

As the third anniversary approaches, my girlfriend sent me a picture of a gold necklace priced at about VND15 million, saying that she really liked it and wanted something valuable to commemorate our milestone. At first, I thought she was joking, but she brought it up again a few times.

A man under pressure. Illustratition photo by Pexels

I then told her that amount of money is worth nearly my entire monthly salary, and spending that much for a gift didn't seem reasonable to me. She replied that she had never asked for anything expensive over the past three years, and that if we were serious about our relationship and considering marriage, a piece of long-lasting jewelry was not a waste of money. Since that conversation, I've begun to wonder whether she is becoming increasingly materialistic.

My girlfriend knows my family is well-off; my parents run a business and have already bought me an apartment for after I get married. Perhaps because of this, she feels that VND15 million isn't a huge sum of money for me. In reality, however, I live strictly on my own salary and prefer not to turn to my parents every time an expense comes up.

I also worry that if I buy this gift now, her gift expectations for future birthdays, Valentine's Days, or after marriage will only continue to rise. When I voiced these concerns, she felt deeply hurt and accused me of labeling her as a gold digger just because, for the first time in nearly three years, she explicitly stated what gift she wanted.

In your opinion, is my girlfriend being materialistic, or am I overthinking this?